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Good Afternoon, From Bond

Me & My Butler.

Bond here again. If you’ve been watching my fabulous show you’ll know things are heating up nicely, but…it does take up much of my time.

The rest of my time is spent with charities and getting ready for the upcoming cruise.

The RSVPs are pouring in, yet still no word yet from Ellen DeGeneres, but no doubt I will hear from her – she’s a major pet lover who loves to help pets and that’s what my cruise is for!

Speaking of Ellen, she owns that fantastic food company, Halo.

To help, I’ve added Halo full-time to my diet. It’s high grade, human-quality food, just what every pet needs and deserves! And what a difference I see in my energy levels and shine in my coat.

Of course, this cruise is very special, and I’m actually going to see Gordi again (an added bonus!), so I’ve taken to using the Royal Pet Club shampoos and conditioners. Nothing says luxury like organic, top-of-the-line pet products (the almond and shea butter being my favourite).

So, while I’m getting in top shape inside and out (inner beauty is just as important as the outside beauty), I’m counting down the days until my cruise…

8 Comments

admin, December 7th 2009 | Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Bond Blog, Uncategorized

Bond’s Blog 2

Lookin' Good...

Ah, Miami, the perfect place for ice-cold dogitinis.

Now before you think I’m the kind of jetsetting playdog who has too much time on his hands, you’d almost be right. About the jetsetting, that is. Mind you, there’s nothing wrong with being a playdog every now and then…we all need something to stir the blood…but that’s not why I’m here.

I’m taking a small break in the filming of my hit show, America’s Top Dog (and getting to know the ladies…) to do a bit of worthwhile charity work in Miami. TV appearances, speeches, they all make you a little doggone tired, which is why, before I jet back, I decided to stop and sip some dogitinis.

You all know about my upcoming charity cruise, and I’m excited about that and the line up of VIP guests. I’m getting close to getting a yes from Ellen Degeneres (I like her food, Halo…it keeps me fit and healthy when I’m on the road), and a few more besides.

But some things never change. When you’re as well known as me, there are downs to the whole thing. Bitches chase after you, even when you don’t want the attention. I understand how that Twilight chap, Robert Patterson must feel…

Why, when I was having my dogitini earlier, a very pretty dog came up to me, acting very important and like she knew me. Marlene…Marcela, or something… She was pushy and angling for an invite.

Let me tell you something ladies. Pushy gets you nowhere with me, and neither does sending me photos in sexy outfits. Well…ahem.

I tell you after she left, I needed another dogitini.

She said she was an ex-model. This reminded me of the lovely Gordi. I know she’s here in Miami somewhere. Part of me wants to look her up, but I really don’t have the time this trip (I don’t even have time to visit my old pal Happa), still, I’ll be seeing her in a few weeks on the cruise.

I can’t explain, but she’s been on my mind a lot recently…

1 Comment

admin, November 11th 2009 | Tags: , ,
Posted in Bond Blog

Bond’s Blog. Day One.

Bond, spiffed & ready to go. where's my dogitini?

Bond here, Bartholomew Bond.

Reality star, entrepreneur, philanthropist and gentleman. Pleased to meet you.

I like my dogitinis shaken, not stirred, my conversations scintillating, and my women…

Well, if you follow my show you’ll end up finding that last one out, won’t you? As much as I’d like to ’spill the beans’ as they say, I’m under contract not to talk about the show or the hot bitches vying for my attention.

But I can talk about some of the other things in my life.

A rich dog as myself could rest back on his laurels (like some other dogs we know, Gunther IV, I’m looking at you), but I believe in looking out for those less fortunate then myself. Especially the homeless dogs and cats.

In fact, I do have something exciting to share with you. I have an upcoming, week-long soiree on my yacht. We’ll be sailing the South Pacific to my private island.

Before you start barking to yourselves that I am nothing more than a rich dog with too much time on his paws, I’ll let you know something: this is a fund-raising event. Many of the glitterati of both the human and dog (even some cats are joining in) kind are joining me.

I am nervous on two counts, however. The first is to do with Ellen DeGeneres. You may know her. This hilarious human has a talk show and is very much an advocate of animalkind, something I am for. And Ellen has a beautiful wife who is just as devoted.

Don’t you think they would make a fabulous addition to my cruise?

I have sent them an invite. The cruise is not until New Year’s, so we have a little time. But I would love for Ellen to join. I wonder if she will reply?

Secondly, I invited an old friend Happa, and a certain yellow Labrador named Gordi.

Ah, Gordi. All long legs and golden tresses. A modelling dog who had a heart of gold and the soul of a real lady.We had a thing back in the day. It has been years, but…she accepted my invitation.

I wonder what she looks like now?

2 Comments

admin, November 3rd 2009 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Bond Blog